Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Pertanyaan Delilah

Berapa lama aku harus menunggu?
Semenit, sehari, setahun atau sewindu?

Ada apa denganmu?
Dulu kau terlihat terburu-buru
Tak mau membuang waktu
Tapi kau kini bersikap seolah tak mau tahu
Jika ditanya, hanya jawab 'a-u a-u'

Sebal, sebenarnya siapa kamu?
Bukan lagi pribadi yang ku kenal dulu
Jangan-jangan kau si 'Casanova' yang terkenal itu
Dan aku sudah terperangkap muslihat cintamu
Sial sekali aku

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Keinginan si bujangan

Mamaku bilang aku tampan
Parasku memang rupawan
Papaku bilang aku teladan
Aku memang orang yang dermawan
Tapi mengapa dia tak anggap aku menawan
Hanya menganggapku sebagai kawan
Yang aku inginkan lebih dari sekedar pertemanan
Aku ingin dia hanya pikirkan aku seorang

Monday, January 27, 2014

Saturday, January 25, 2014

Balada Malam Minggu: I am Who I am (really?)


.... with capitalized word, it is simply sound like an anger. The next question is to whom it was addressed?

of course it is not for you, who you think you are?

Year is already changing and I am still like this. Currently when I am typing ol this stuff, I am eating my muffin with iced coffee (a duet that I never did before); listening to Boyce Avenue singing for Adele - Bruno Mars - and some my favorite singers; glimpsing at a lovey-dovey couple sitting two desks away from me (with envy as usual); lonely and pathetic.

Lonely and pathetic?

Was I just typing it unconsciously?

Every now and then I see the glass, it is dark outside. I just can't see the outside except my own reflection and the question above all of sudden appears. That's not a question in anger, it is more like a question with neon-highlight that creates the lone and pity addressed to ME.

What I am doing right now is typing some random thing that is bothering me.

I was realizing what happen with me lately; what ego that made me like this; what i dream i would be; what I wish for all this time and start questioning how dare I was since it ended like a stone on the button of the ocean, idle -- motionless,- while on the other side, I should be realize the reality: the limits and boundaries. It bothers for sure and I just can't bare it any longer. Do I work hard for my own dreams or do I just simply list all my wishes waiting for God grant 'em?

I cheer myself by saying I am who I am, and I know who I am not, but do I really know?

P.S: Tonight, when I type it, I just feel not happy with myself. 

Thursday, January 23, 2014

Quotes in Love

A morning text does not only mean, "good morning" -- it has a silent loning message that's says... "I think of you when I wake up"

~ Joey Twenty First Night

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Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Rythm keep playing in my head

I have to admit I start to love listening random unfamiliar songs from unfamiliar band, here the lyrics that I caught and keeps playing in my head in days:

Kamen rider
Nothing in this world is able to conquer me

Pretty cool lyric since All heroes named was my favorites when I was young.

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Ada masa ketika jari-jari yang bertautan memilih untuk saling melepaskan
Ada waktu ketika bibir yang senang bercerita memilih untuk diam tak berkata
Ada saat ketika mata yang melihat mesra memilih untuk menatap penuh curiga
Ada kita yang terbiasa bersama memilih untuk sendiri meski merana

Ya, dan ketika masa itu tiba, aku harap kau mati saja

Saturday, January 18, 2014

Balada Malam Minggu: Mengusikmu Malam Itu

Hujan, tak henti buat basah di tanah

Ciptakan dingin gelitiki tubuh yang lelah

Otot-ototku menggeliat resah

Terbangun dengan rasa kantuk yang telah sempurna terunggah

Aku menyelinap ke balik selimutmu mencari panas,

Sepuluh dua puluh menit  ototku menjadi lemas

Meski hati ini cemas dan dirundung waswas

Kau buat wajahku jadi pias

Dengan merasakan nafasmu yang menahan buas

Ingin puas





Friday, January 17, 2014

Up Coming Text: Balada Malam Minggu

Ada beberapa hal yang berputar dalam otak aku, mengendap, dan pada akhirnya berontak minta dikeluarkan juga dari sana, bukan sebuah drama seperti biasanya, tapi lebih ke sebuah pemikiran, dan pemikiran ini pun mengharapkan aku untuk mengeluarkannya tidak dalam bentuk drama. Karena bagi dia, diekstrak dalam komposisi drama hanya membuat dia terlihat sebuah konflik. Jadi aku mengelurkan apa adanya.

Tulisan ini akan aku publish setiap Minggu malam, alasannya sih simple, aku memilliki beberapa draft tulisan yang masih belum aku publish, entah itu karena belum selesai, belum mendapatkan jadwal publish yang cocok atau belum dirasa cukup baik untuk dipublikasikan. Bagian paling menarik dari Balada Malam Minggu adalah sebuah kenyataan bahwa ide tulisannya keluar disetiap renungan di hari Minggu malam atau di malam Minggu. Mungkin karena biasanya sebagai seorang single aku tak memiliki banyak kegiatan di kedua waktu senggang itu jadi aku menhabiskan waktu dengan berfikir dan merenung (hahaha, that's kind of bulls***).

At last, enjoy the up coming Balada Malam Minggu fellas

Thursday, January 16, 2014

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Heartbreak Can Be A Good Business

Starting to my new habit: listening to unfamiliar song, randomly listen to indie music, it is kindda memorable since I took a note for this one. What I summarized for this is three similar words which are also taken from the lyric:
Despise, abhorrence, and detestation
Despises: to dislike intensely; loathe
abhorrence: a feeling of repugnance or loathing
detestation: intense hatred
Here is the complete lyric of the song that I listened to at that rainy night, (for sure, I've got that lyric after searching through finding machine called internet, hail to internet fellas!)

see the stars unmade
make way for the memories remain
and ignore the good ones

stars describe something shiny, unmade one is the analogy of a relation which is getting weak, let the memories fading and then letting it just fvcked up.

watch it burn tonight
the world is never good enough for you
and i'm dying seeing you

You here is me, the one who listen to the music, this night, I let all the memories burn with past time. For me, this world just not wide enough because I always see him everywhere, with my friends, in my zone.

you have a place in me and always do
dont think to go back to the alley you know it's true

"you have a place in me, you always do" is my favorite statement. Even I am not quite sure about the alley talked here

the wounds i'm healing from your goodbyes is the reason i'm still here tonight 
despise, abhorrence, and detestation
in conclusion is the reason to forget 2002

broken heart is always painful, yes… it is damn true.

you're just adding "I" in misery and pain to me
letting go is so much easier than moving on

ah, the lyric here is so much true. Letting do is easier than moving on if you truly love someone who broke up with you. In my case, it is not like that, it is more like I let it go because I say enough for the pain.

watch it burn tonight
it's the reason i'm still here tonight
wreck my heart apart
forget my promise not to let you go

Cih, pretty damn undone-promise, lied-one. In Indonesian: JANJI PALSU. He promised me to live together – for good, BUT NO-GOOD happend

Pretty good rite? I can't stand re-read the lyric over and over again

Saturday, January 11, 2014

Gestures I Love

I firmly believe in small gestures: pay for their coffee, hold the door for strangers, over tip, smile or try to be kind even when you don't feel like it, pay compliments, chase kid's runaway ball down the sidewalk and throw it back to him, try to be larger than you are - particularly when it's difficult. People do notice, people do appreciate.

I myself would love when it's done to (for) me. Small  gestures can be an effort, or actually go against our grain ("I am not a big one for paying compliments even i am an easy person who get carry away), but the irony is that almost every time you make them, you feel better about yourself. For a moment life suddenly feels lighter, a bit more --- like an angel.

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

I'm gonna write something smart

but it's not now

i lost my mood

i have to find it sooner or later

probably i left it in your room that night

can i see you


just to check whether it is in you

Thursday, January 2, 2014

It's French Fries

So it wasn't our first date --- we had dinner together nights before. Yeah, that night was 'more' special.

We watched movies together. She loves watching movies, especially dramas, so I treated her to watched a hit movie. The one with at an old setting, telling about romance of first generation poet. Frankly, I didn't enjoy this movie because too many traditional language that I don't understand. Besides the chosen words for the dialogue is too poetry. It simply made me dizzy. So I started to scan around to kill the boredom, and I just caught french fries eaten by a strange girl next to me.

boy: 'The french fries is look tasty'
girl : 'Grab some then'
boy: 'Do I have to ask to that girl'
girl: 'I dare you to'
boy: 'What is it in return?'
girl: 'what do you want?'
boy: 'how far you would go?'
girl: 'anything'
boy: 'a kiss'
girl: 'okay'

'sorry, is that french fries? can i get some?'
'yes, sure!' then she gave me more.

boy: 'french fries'

>>> kiss <<<

Haha, is it french fries?