End of 2025

Instead of having a complicated end of the year recap, I’m thinking of writing a piece on Easy to Fall in Love by Olivia Dean to close out 2025. This year has been extremely loud, so I shouldn’t summarize it with a list of achievements (most of my achievement this year were quite dark). I’m picking a song, a softer option to close 2025. 

So Easy (To Fall In Love)

I first heard this song on the radio in December while I was driving to work. The music was jazzy, warm, but the welcoming didn't immediately hit me. It was different. Most of the songs I listen to nowadays are easy grabs. Those sounded lazy to me, but I listened to them. This song was no check the box for unoriginal songs. It was different. I had forgotten about the first time I heard the song. I heard it again, this time in the middle of traffic on my way back to work, and the road was jammed, my mind tired. A feeling, albeit simple, was visiting my heart once again. This feeling was time away from the road and time listening to the song. My heart warmed. Not breaking, not overwhelmingly happy, just warm. Calm. My mind turned to the songs I had a dry spell from listening to. 

I couldn't listen to Bernadya, and I had to avoid the song Runtuh from Feby Putri. I had to avoid Sasha Alex Sloan - Older and Dancing With Your Ghost, they simply make me cry. They are songs I would sit and listen to while I was alone and sing off-key while I cried. My heart had been heavy for a long time, and each of these songs had been a bit of a time capsule I had to avoid. I had to avoid the songs because they would remind me of the sadness, loss, and heartbreak that would open the emotional coin bank (I don't know how to describe, 'tabungan emosi' that stored in my heart). I had to avoid the song Usik as well. Easy to fall in love, however, is a song that I can listen to without a dry spell. The song is easy and invited no memories of loss. It was not a song that invited tears. It was a song that simply opened my heart with light.

This, 'Easy to Fall in Love' sparks a memory from my past. A memory from a time where there was open space to hold a future. A time where loving was a real possibility. Not a sad or painful memory, a happy memory. A memory that puts a smile on my face. I think that is a nice reason to pick that song for the last song of my 2025. I think after enduring all I have endured that is a nice reason to pick that song. I think after all that has happened, I do not want to end the year with a countdown to the new year with a list of all the bad things that have happened. I would like to end the year with a positive list of things. I would like to end the year with a confession. A confession that after all the bad things that have happened to me that I still have the ability to emotionally respond to things. That I still have the ability to feel my chest tighten. That I still have the ability for the hope to return that life and love do not have to feel like a constant battle. And for now, that is the end of 2025.

I wish you also enjoy the butterfly I have from the song, please enjoy it here