Friday, September 12, 2014


If my math is right, it is the one hundred and thirty - seventh day since the last day I saw him.

I still hold the cup in the air. My heart beats so fast. All chatters become murmur and I can feel all in the slow motion. My focus is only to a figure that has caused the bell on the door jingles. A guy with deep brown eyes, short cut hair, and five - o'clock shadow is walking in

-- with a very mature girl in red hot cocktail dress.

I can hear a crack inside my chest. I feel something stabs my heart without any blood drops. The worst part, I loose my power even for moving these stupid feet so I can move from that place, hide at the corner of the room so he cannot see me.

But, let's call it as a faith. He stands in front of the bar, just 5 steps away from me. When he turns his head to the right, he sees me staring at him.

None of us greets each other, not even smiles. We completely act like a total stranger.

The girl orders the coffee and the beverages for her and for him as well. It is like she knows what he would order. He seems agree with the order. He doesn't argue then smile to the girl.

I am back to the reality. I feel so much hurt inside. With all power I have, I stop staring at him and drink up my coffee. It's my favorite but now it's taste so bitter. I almost throw up for forcing that black liquid enter my throat.

"Miss, are you okay?" The barista sees me anxiously and makes sure that I am alright.  "Is the coffee taste strange?"

I shake my head and don't answer his question. 'It's not the coffee, it is what I feel inside'. I change the topic as fast as my brain could think in this frozen situation. "How long do I have to wait for my salmon toast? I should leave in any second"

"It should be ready in five minutes"

I glimpse him again, he is thinner than I remember. Does he loose weight?

Silly thought. Why should i care anyway? He was the one who left me, the one who hurt me with all his non-sense reasons in dumping me. Mother of fact, I have to hate him to death. Why should i care whether he lost his weight?

The red hot cocktail girl plays her long hair and flirt you.

Just the way you love. I know it pretty well. You always asked me to let my hair grow long while i prefer cut it short so it won't bother me much in having outdoor activities.

"El" yelled the barista while she was putting what I'd ordered in pick up spot.

"Excuse me" i said to the red hot cocktail girl who block the way to take my order away.

" El? Are you Elaine? The traveller?"

I freeze for a second. I am quite shocked that she knows me.

"Yeah, this is you!" She is seem so happy. "Darl, she is the traveller that I've told you recently!" She remaind him about the recent topic she shared with him. "How's your travel to Kazakhstan?"

I open my mouth but no single word comes out there. Finally i just nod my head.

"Oh ya, this is your order! Let me pay for it!" She hands me my order.

"Ooh, no need! I've already pay it"

She frowns her face. I don't like this whole situation.  I just turn around and take several step away. She yells again.

"Today is our six-months-vesary, do you have any idea where we can celebrate it romantically?"

I turn my head again and look at him. "Six months?"

"Yea, six months! He confessed his feeling with a beautiful song in front of people with roses and diamond in hand six months ago."

I stare at him right to his eyes. Saying something that my mouth couldn't say. He is look so nerve and starts act awkwardly.

"I want to count every moment with him romantically"

Anger fills my heart. It gives me power to stand up. "You should try Tibet! It's a nice place where you could feel the eternity of snow! Meet Dalai Lama to get some wisdom thought to keep your relationship far away from cheat!"

She is seem to consider what i was saying while he looks at me with shocked, and mixed feeling.

I exhale the carbon dioxide,  "just try beaches! You'll enjoy the weather, wind, sun, waves in the day while at night, you'll have moon and all stars decorate your romantic outdoor diner."

She is excited to the beach idea. Her hand just grabs his hand and shakes it gently.

I leave them and walk out the cafe. I need fresh air. The sun outside shines brightly. No clould is able to cover it. The air is just so airy, the wind blows my hair and fly the anger away. It just makes me think about beach.

I hope that they just dead! It might seem crazy and so frustrating, but i don't care. In several touch on my phone i am already engage with an airlines' website and book a flight to Bahamas.



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