Balada Malam Minggu: Peace
For years, I lived as a relentless hunter. The object of my pursuit was peace. I treated peace as a trophy to be won through sheer will and struggle. Yet, the harder I ran, the further it seemed to retreat, leaving me breathless and hollow in the chase.
The turning point arrived not when I finally "arrived," but when I ran out of strength to continue. In a moment of absolute exhaustion, I made a choice that felt like a defeat: I chose to give up. I let go of the tight grip I held on my expectations of how life ought to look.
Ironically, in the very moment I stopped looking, I was found.
I realized then that for years, my heart had been too crowded. It was packed so tightly with the ambition to be peaceful that there was no actual room for peace to enter. Giving up was not an act of failure; it was an act of clearing space. By releasing my need for control, I dismantled the walls of the ego that had been blocking the view.
Now, in the quiet void left behind by that surrender, peace has begun to drift in, uninvited and unforced. It has arrived not as a prize for my efforts, but as the natural grace of my acceptance. I finally understand that peace was never something to be found "out there"—it was simply waiting for me to stop standing in my own way.
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