From Voice Notes, Somebody Should Write It - With A Happy Ending

What happened with me lately?

I still have no idea how to explain what happened. But one thing for sure it is about 'love' things. Typical idiota young girl's problems who is blind with lovey-dovey-Shakespeare-romance-illusion.

I won't tell anything about my 'love-story', it is boring. I am not lying, because it is a truth. One thing that I want to share here is a story how I get through this 'love' problem.

Some girls love fairy tale that their life will end happily ever after. They hope that their love ends up like a Cinderella with the prince living in a castle. I do proudly admit that I am one of this gang.

Unfortunately, what happens in real life does not as easy as what happens in the Disney Pictures. God created this life much more complicated. Human is not even able to guess what happens in next seconds. God simply make future so mysterious. That is why God give human intelligence to figure it out.

I believe God give intelligent to human so they can think. Because of it, when I face problems I use this intelligent to solve and get a way out. It is also applied when I have this 'love' issues. I start to think what I was doing all the time, how I express my feeling, load some burden out --- I need some one to talk with. But I have realized another problems. Since it is a love issue, talking about it with someone probably gives another problem. I just can't talk it with a male friend. I am to afraid that I will terminate a feeling to 'the guy' by having another feeling with another guy. I feel that it is a big mistake. On the other hand, share it with female also freaks me out. Especially because that girl know who my love is. I am to afraid that probably the girls just hate 'the boy' because they see me as the victim. I really understand, I am completely not a pure victim, probably, the problems appeared are simply because I also took a part in creating the problems. I just can't fully blame 'him'.


Like I have said earlier. I need to load some burden out of my heart.
What should I do when I am too afraid talk it with another human then?

I start to think. Try to figure out.

My blackberry attracts my attention as always. But suddenly, I've just got an idea. Why don't I just load it out to the voice note? It sounds so brilliant.

I start the story and keep it in the voice note. I have to remember this story. No eraser in my head is allowed to wipe it out.

I replay the voice note before I go to sleep.
I know that what 'he' does while I am suffering from this threat is updating a new lovely feeling with another girl. Hurt? indeed.
But again, listening to the story helps me to think clearly, that I should live in this life no more. I need to buried this sadness, forgive myself, and accept what has happened.
I sleep after I've said a pray to God, asking for a better life and fate. When I wake up in the morning. I feel better and I can smile brightly to the world.


Broken hearted-story is awful, I am pretty sure about that. But I need to get through it, and learn from it. Learn to build up a new heart from the pieces. Accepted that it is part of my past that will make me stroger in the future.

Sometimes, I think that what I listen from the voice note is really like a silly-drama-series in the TV. It must be entertaining if someone (or me) write this story in a book. Even this book has a tragedy in the middle of the story, I believe I can write a happy ending waits for the end; and so can God give me for real, for my future.